The models are hired to perform, so it is possible that it’s contractual, not consensual.
There’s nothing private about it. Privacy is a healthy component of a sexual relationship.
What you’re seeing is not realistic on many levels. For example, a 10-minute sex scene may take hours to make. Actors often use erectile enhancers to maintain arousal. If a scene doesn’t come out the way they want it, they just reshoot it. Editing after the fact creates a specific representation.
What if my child has sent a nude?
It is relatively common for children under 18 to ask for, take, send and receive nudes, but doing so can carry real consequences. The federal government considers it trafficking in child pornography, even if you are taking and sending pictures of yourself. Educate yourself on federal laws regarding pornography and your state’s teen sexting laws.
If your child tells you about sending a nude, do your best to stay composed and resist any temptation to interrogate, shame or victim-blame. You may say, “I’m glad that you’ve come to me to tell me.” Focus on the person who has broken trust with your child and is sharing or posting the pictures.
When people’s nude images are posted online without their consent, they may experience the violation as if it had happened in person. It can be devastating. Ask what your child would like to share. Remember that abuse is a disempowering experience; we want survivors to feel they can have autonomy as they navigate their process. Use open-ended questions and their comfort level to guide the conversation. Empower them to make their own choices by offering options and resources like therapeutic counseling or reporting to law enforcement.
How can I help?
As a parent, you have been teaching your children values in all aspects of their lives. Talk about what mutual respect looks, sounds and feels like within a sexual context. It’s important to emphasize that sexual relationships can include both emotional and physical intimacy; the connection usually includes romantic interest and sexual attraction.
Without guidance from the adults in their lives about how pleasurable sexual experiences should look, sound, and feel, kids are working from the representations they see on screens. Make sure to provide age appropriate, medically accurate information about sexuality as well as guidance on how to apply that information to their intimate relationships. Encourage your kids to define gender for themselves, to avoid letting stereotypes shape their actions, and to be sober and brave in social and sexual situations.